TOP
TEN REASON TO SUSPECT THE DUKE PUZZLE IS STILL A WAYS
AWAY
by Bozowl
10.
|
The on button
is lost under all the checks. |
9.
|
Ibgames is
trying to open a real life Chez Diesel. |
8.
|
On Crypto's
to do list: A. CC payment. B. Snark. C. Martian
Invasion. D. Reinstall Windows 95. E. Feed dog. |
7.
|
Fed officials
are too busy reading The Underground's
Anniversary Issue. |
6.
|
Tbar is made
Fed's Official Spell Checker. (Also on the Top
Ten Reasons the World is Coming to an End.) |
5.
|
Credit Card
payment is first... right after they reinvent the
wheel using popcicle sticks and a rubber band. |
4.
|
Sol is way
beyond capacity, and Ming loves it! |
3.
|
Cup of
Fearlessness newest rule... No Insurance! |
2.
|
When asked
about the puzzle, Crypto responds with 'I know
nothing, I see nothing, and I say... nothing!' |
1.
|
Hazed announces in the
News, 'The Duke Puzzle will be up sometime next
week'. |
TOP TEN
SIGNS SOL HAS BEEN EMPTY TOO LONG
10.
|
Sol mobiles
establish weekly poker night in the Cantina. |
9.
|
The GM begins
hiding on Earth's landing pad. |
8.
|
Sol
workthingie life expectancy then: 2 days. Now: 6
months. |
7.
|
Water and
power to Office Block turned off. |
6.
|
Pegasus and
Monty begin attacking each other. |
5.
|
Wrench found
rusted to the floor. |
4.
|
Sol link
closes every 10 days. |
3.
|
Jarrow's
Shipbuilders offers two for one sale. |
2.
|
Diesel begins
paying you for services. |
1.
|
Enough dust lying around
to make a sand-trap. |
TOP TEN
WAYS WE KNOW THERE ARE NEW PLAYERS
by Krose
10.
|
You see three
Commanders and a GroundHog on channel 1 at once. |
9.
|
You start
hearing, "Who's this Pegasus and why did he
shoot me down?" again. |
8.
|
JPs are
getting nagged with "Can you give me some 75
ton In-Sol work?" |
7.
|
There are
actually people in Sol. |
6.
|
There is
actually work on the Workboard. |
5.
|
People start
flying into the sun, and not by accident. |
4.
|
You start
hearing, "How do I promote?" |
3.
|
The bored
offical starts getting back into the swing of
this. |
2.
|
You start
hearing, "How do I buy fuel?" |
1.
|
The newbies finally
promote to Captain, "You mean there's a GOTO
command?" |
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH
Your comm unit relays a message
from Readerboy, "wow!!! at 7:30 EST I had 21 megs in
my planet... now at 8:48 pm EST I have 25 megs... good,
eh?".
Your comm unit relays a message from Stevec, "When
did you make Duke, Reader? :P".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Silowetcat, "<---impotent kitty".
Your comm unit relays a message from Tigris, "LOL.
Don't tell Poseidon!".
Your comm unit relays a message from Silowetcat,
"That was sposed to be IMportant....LOL".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Krose, "Damn! FedTerm sucks for making fire
sales".
Your comm unit relays a message from Wsprano,
"<---lights Krose's sale on fire for him".
Your comm unit relays a message from Dbhanuband,
"<---- starts taking fire and selling it".
Your comm unit relays a message from Hazed, "Yeah, I
can see how the wind created by the sucking would make it
hard to start a fire".
Your comm unit relays a message from Archer, "yes,
but the friction from the sucking could heat one up
enough to cause spontaneous combustion;)".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Archer, "LOL..heres a question..how does your
spaceship appear on every LP to teleport to? LOL".
Your comm unit relays a message from Hazed, "It is
attached to your wrist with a piece of elastic".
Your comm unit relays a message from Archer,
"<scratches head> coulda swore I parked that
thing at home:)".
Your comm unit relays a message from Wsprano, "You
mean its not like a loyal dog and just follows you
everywhere??".
Your comm unit relays a message from Archer, "LOL
Hazed... a ship leash..".
Your comm unit relays a message from Hazed, "When
you are exploring planets the elastic stretches and the
ship stays on the pad. But as soon as you port somewhere
to another planet, the elastic pings back and the ship
comes too".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Smokey, "yeah, I just get to the level where I
can opress people and there's nobody around to be
opressed".
"Boy that Jp Biggroats must be
in sorry shape! Everytime i come to the cantina he loses
his marbles!" says Yoda
Your comm unit relays a message
from Goober, "how do i leave a death planet".
Your comm unit relays a message from Jer, "um
die?"
You say, "had to clear some
woods"
Yoda exclaims, "That fast!"
"i need your chain saw!",
exclaims Yoda.
MOOD OF
THE MONTH
be very qwiet.. i'm hunting gm's
Kajunqt has just arrived.
ACT OF
THE MONTH
Gerhilda tries, over and over, to
give herself to Diesel, but for some reason Diesel
doesn't want her.
BAR
POSTS OF THE MONTH
210836:120 - Mysticchem: I know
what you were thinking, "Five missiles or six?"
Well, to be perfectly honest, in all the ruckus I lost
count. So you have to ask yourself just one
question..."Do I feel lucky?" ...Well? Do you,
punk?
210836:138 - Mavryck: I feel lucky, punk =)
CLOTHES
OF THE MONTH
ex good
you see a man wearing nothing but a gun holster wrapped
around his butt, and what a Butt it is Too!!!
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