Fed2 Star - the newsletter for the space trading game Federation 2

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by ibgames

EARTHDATE: February 9, 2014

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REPORTERS NOT HAPPY AT GALYMPICS LACK OF PREPARATION

by Hazed

Speaking of Psotchy, I’m not planning to attend myself – I’m not into sports – and judging by the reports I am reading from the journalists who arrived a few days before the games began, I’m glad, because there have been problems with their quarters. I don’t like roughing it and some of the accommodation looks very rough indeed.

There have been complaints about rooms being unfinished, a hotel where the lobby has no roof, holes in the pathways which should be covered but are not and even packs of feral droids roaming the reporters village, begging for luboils.

The worst problems are in the quarters meant to house alien species. Some rooms have inappropriate gaseous mixtures as their atmospheres, and one room intended for aqueous beings was filled with salt water instead of fresh. The first being to enter the room started to shrivel in the saline fluid and although it was extracted before it dissolved completely, it’s now in the hospital in a very sorry state.

Athletes have found that their quarters are not up to scratch either. One sportsthing nearly fell down a grav shaft when the anti-grav suddenly cut out in mid-drop, which could have led to a very nasty plummet – and an even nastier splat at the bottom. Another found himself locked in the bathroom and unable to get the door open; he had to eat through the wood in order to escape.

One cannot talk of the Psotchy games without also mentioning the sexual politics surrounding the event. The system government has taken a hard line on relationships between living beings and artificial entities, outlawing the so-called “promotion” of droidosexuality. Nobody is quite sure what promotion means in this context – it sounds like a marketing gimmick or a “buy one, get one free” offer – but there have been spates of violence against those demonstrating their love for mechanical or electronic beings.

Psotchy officials have played down this controversy, stating that droidosexuals are welcome to attend – so long as they stay away from the children! The Mayor has made himself look foolish by claiming there are no droidosexuals on the planet, despite the presence of several nightclubs catering for them.

Attendees at the games, and celebrities around the Galaxy, have been showing their scorn for this law by waving flags showing the circuit-board symbol of flesh/droid love. Some of the star systems have sent representatives who are themselves in open relationships with droids.

Despite all this drama at the Galympics, it seems likely that the games themselves will be a success. No expense has been spared, with snow being stockpiled from previous years and imported from other, colder planets to ensure the events run smoothly. If winter sports are your thing, then enjoy the games!

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