TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WITH A MARSRAT
by Jezz
Following the announcement the other week that the rodent population of Britain has grown by thirty percent in the last two years, I thought it quite fitting to do a top 10 things to do with a marsrat, after Zardoz suggested it. After all, with just the one cat on Mars, and with all those ruins for the little critters to hide in, it's only a matter of time before we are completely overrun with marsrats and will have to find something to do with them before they start applying to social services for benefits.
So here's the Top 10 Things to do with a Marsrat.
| 10. |
Sing a duet. Apparently they don't have great voices but that doesn't stop DJ and Bourbon. |
| 9. |
Teach the marsrat to tap dance across the channels. |
| 8. |
Use the marsrat as a sacrifice in the Temple of Gaelaan. |
| 7. |
Marsrat fricassee. |
| 6. |
Hang it from the ceiling a foot out of Catspaws' reach and keep her entertained for hours. |
| 5. |
Marsrat hat, marsrat coat, marsrat mittens. |
| 4. |
Send them all to Rogue so Quizlo has some company (nobody else can find the planet). |
| 3. |
Marsrat on a stick equals great grizzle bait. |
| 2. |
Find a pregnant one and tell Squeeky it's a shotgun wedding. |
| and the number 1 thing to do with a marsrat is... |
| 1. |
Promote it to Financier and let it discover its true nature. |
Many thanks to Zardoz, Jewells, Caesar, Quizlo, Arthurfrayn and Zand for their suggestions. No Marsrats were harmed during the collection of this information. Ninety-nine percent of the marsrats polled in regards to the above Top 10 stated said they would rather be sent to Planet Parmigiano Cheese, which was promptly arranged thanks to a crooked Vermont customs officer. The other one percent said they would like to marry Squeeky.
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