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EARTHDATE: February 1, 2009

Fed Funnies page 1


TOP TEN REASONS NOT TO TELEPORT TO RANDOM LOCATIONS

by Jezz

Since everyone has had a chance to teleport around the universe now, Kalandra offered up the subject of why we really shouldn't just teleport into random locations. It seems that a few of the Fed Space denizens have found reason enough to look before they leap because the answers came fast and furiously.

So here are your Top 10 Reasons Not to Teleport to Random Locations!

10. Explaining to your other half just what you were doing at Jerrit's could be tricky.
9. Arlene... bathtub... 'nough said.
8. Materializing right in front of the moving shuttle on Venus incurs high clean up costs.
7. You might startle Hazed and make her spill her chocolate.
6. Two words... Radioactive Rooms.
5. Ending up inside a klein bottle is likely to turn your day inside out.
4. Random teleporting into the Registrar's office could result in a marriage you can't teleport out of.
3. Doctor Fogg's film company won't pay for port-on extras no matter what position you arrive in.
2. It's rumored that the arachnids on Silk are not fussy about what lands on their plates.
And the number one reason not to teleport to random locations is...
1. The livestock tent is hard enough to negotiate cleanly even when you can see what your feet are about to land in.

Thanks go to Kalandra, Andrew, Zardoz and Caesar for sharing their teleporter phobias. Mind where you send your feet!


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