TOP TEN FED GALACTIC MYTHS
by Jezz
Our Top Ten this week was inspired by one of those Universal mishaps that seem to happen at the most inconvenient moments. With everyone chattering about how hard life was when they were a trader/groundhog/founder or just about any other rank you can think of, a couple of urban-Universal legends floated out of the dark recesses of Fed mythology and onto the space waves.
| 10. |
They say that the cell in the Dept of Rehab is haunted by the ghost of a prisoner, whose case dragged on for so long that he died of old age before he could be found innocent or guilty. After he was dead, they dropped the case, but his ghost lives on in hope that one day his name will be cleared. |
| 9. |
Everyone used to walk uphill both ways, barefoot in the snow, backwards to deliver Akaturi packages. And they were all to Hobbs End. |
| 8. |
The last time Hazed saw a spreadsheet, she threw three newsdroids out the window. (Hazed disputes this by saying that defenestration would be a waste of scrap metal.) |
| 7. |
There used to be a place called the Traders Lounge on Earth. Everyone used to gather there and cavort and carry on and on, 24/7... some even slept there and got "vandalized". |
| 6. |
You should always wait one hour after eating before walking up your exchange. |
| 5. |
There was once a trader who went so far into the negative with trading points that they eventually turned the corner into positive numbers. |
| 4. |
There are real Grizzles in the caves on Mercury. You might be able to escape if you're carrying a packed lunch. The Grizzle's name, according to some, was Smitty. |
| 3. |
This chap went to a party and got picked up by a pretty girl who took him back to her hotel room. Next morning he woke up not remembering anything that happened. He thought he must have just got drunk and thought nothing of it. But later that day he kept meeting people in the street who would say hello to him, even though he didn't know them. It turned out he'd fallen into the hands of rogue cloners... they had drugged him, snipped his DNA and created a workthing army of his clones! |
| 2. |
The candyman on Earth, who gives out sweeties, adds something to a tiny proportion of the sweeties - like one in a thousand - so if you are unlucky and get the randomly adulterated one, you get drugged and become his slave. |
| And the number one galactic legend in Fed is... |
| 1. |
There's a legend about a place called Real Life, with no spaceships, limited income, and no way to talk to total strangers across wide spaces. Obviously this place was made up to frighten naughty children. |
I believe, after hearing the various tales, I will leave the sorting of fact from fiction to the Fed mythbusters. Thanks to Trilleth, Hazed, Gwaptiva, Munabilo and Zand for the myths.
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