Inside Scoop page 2

HELP WANTED

Stardate: 120287:8834 - Zardoz: The House of Doz is experiencing rapid growth. As a result, The House is recruiting alts to support its vast operations. We have a variety of positions open, and offer a competitive salary plus generous benefits. Applicants may meet for interviews in Zodraz's office on Aekonia.

>look

Secretary to the Planet Administrator
The Secretary to the Planet Administrator is an attractive woman with two very large ... ear rings. As she bends over to pick up a dropped file, you see her curvaceous, shapely, ... ankle. She looks up and smiles at you and says, "The boss's office is to the north."

>north

Private Office of Zodraz
Zodraz's office is furnished in polished steel and glass. The window has an unobstructed view of the Enimamard Sea. The inviting beach below obviously creates some difficulty concentrating on work, hence the thick curtains on both sides of the window. On one wall is a large video panel displaying planetary statistics and exchange data. There is a soft leather couch suitable for naps against the other wall.
Zardoz is here.
Zodraz is here.
Donbarzini is here.

Zardoz says, "Well, everything appears in order, and you come with sterling references. Is there anything you'd like to add?"

Donbarzini says, "No, only that I'm really looking forward to working for the House of Doz."

Zardoz says, "Zod, do you have anything to ask?"

Zodraz says, "Yes, just a formality, but have you ever been convicted of a Felony?"

Donbarzini looks thoughtful, and says, "Not convicted..."

Zardoz says, "Splendid, when can you start?"

Zodraz says, "Zard..."

Donbarzini says, "Right away."

Zodraz says, "But Zard...."

Zardoz says, "Fantastic. Welcome aboard."

Donbarzini says, "Thank you for the opportunity."

Donbarzini has left.

Zodraz says, "Do you think that was wise?"

Zardoz says, "Well, we need the help, so we have to make do."

Zodraz says, "Why are we in such need of additional staff?"

Zardoz leans back and says, "We are going to promote all the planets in a single day, and add an additional planet on the same day. We will then add two additional planets right after that."

Zardoz smiles triumphantly.

Zodraz looks thoughtful and asks, "Zard, may I ask a question?"

Zardoz grins and says, "You just did. But you may ask another."

Zodraz nods and shouts, "ARE YOU OUT OF OUR MIND????"

Zardoz says, "Pish, posh Zod. Have you no sense of dramatic flair?"

Zodraz says, "Zard, this violates every principle of Dozian economics there is."

Zardoz says, "Nonsense, it fits right into the eighth principle of Dozian Economics."

Zodraz says, "What principle is that?"

Zardoz says, "Audacity is a virtue."

Zodraz groans.

Zardoz says, "Who do we have next?"

Zodraz smiles and says, "You'll enjoy this one."

Zand has just arrived.

Zardoz laughs.

Zodraz laughs.

Zand says, "Will you cut that out?"

Zand has left.

Zodraz says, "It is an old joke."

Zardoz says, "Yes, but it still busts me up. Who's next."

Zodraz says, "Hmmmm... You might enjoy this one."

Ozamabindozin has just arrived.

Ozamabindozin shouts, "DEATH TO THE INFIDEL TAX MAN. I ISSUE A FATWA DECLARING A JIHAD AGAINST THE GREAT SATAN TAX MAN!!!"

Ozamabindozin looks to the sky and trills, "LULULULULULULUULU!!!"

Zardoz says, "Oh, that is good."

Zodraz says, "I thought you'd like it."

Ozamabindozin relaxes noticeably, "Really, you don't think it was too much?"

Zardoz says, "Oh no, it was quite good."

Zodraz says, "The trill was kind of pitchy."

Zardoz says, "Nonsense. I liked it. When can you start?"

Ozamabindozin says, "Right away."

Zardoz says, "Excellent, Welcome aboard."

Ozamabindozin says, "Thank you. Now I have a Jihad to start."

Ozamabindozin has left.

Zardoz says, "Anybody else?"

Zodraz chuckles, and says, "Just one."

Trilleth has just arrived.

Zardoz laughs.

Trilleth says, "You are so thwapped."

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Zand, "I AM NOT ZARDOZ'S ALT!"

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