The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: October 14, 2007

Inside Scoop page 1


A FINANCIER WEDDING

by Zeptember

I was able to obtain an invitation to a rather exclusive event held on Venus. The event was the wedding reception of two of Federation's financiers, Zardoz and Sephorin. As I arrived at the Landing Pad, I saw shuttles parked, double parked, and triple parked, using up every inch of available space. Valet droids were scurrying about attempting to accommodate the throngs of guests arriving for the event.

Directly east from the landing pad, a new room was constructed specifically for the event. Upon entering the room, an erupting volcano immediately seized my attention. How the room's designers were able to get a fully functional lava mound in here, and the cost of construction, were beyond my imagination. The magma exploded forcefully from the cone, constantly adding to the size of the mountain which must have stood 20 meters high. Fortunately, there appeared to be some sort of force field in place to prevent the lava from spewing onto the guests.

When I pulled my eyes away from the volcano, I noted that the room was a gigantic cavern brightened by the cheery light of thousands of torches. Overly large tables, chairs, and just about every type of furniture imaginable adorned the place. Each piece appeared to be carved from stone directly out of the walls and floor of the cavern, but when I touched one it felt incredibly soft and comfy. Clearly, no groat was being spared on this lavish celebration.

As I mingled about the guests, and nibbled on the various dishes that were being served, I casually moved towards the head table so I could get a glimpse of the Bride and Groom. As I got closer, I got a clear view. Sephorin was wearing a silken maroon gown with subtle slashes of blue accenting the bottom. The maroon seemed to be flowing along the gown from bottom to top. The effect was somewhat disconcerting. Her coal black eyes, characteristic of her people, shined in the light of the volcano. Zardoz wore black slacks and a red silk vest, his hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and his trademark dragon tattoos were clearly visible on both arms. The couple were clearly in love with each other and were holding hands as they greeted their guests.

An announcement went forth across the room, the couple were going to give away a gift for the best mood! There was a scramble as moods were set, adjusted, and reset. People were entering and leaving like mad to demonstrate their moods. They were all quite good. Zardoz and Sephorin then huddled together and conferred. Sephorin stood up, and said, "Joe, I think yours was the best marital aid! Too often I've heard the pick up line "I've had a vasectomy." I'd be much more willing to believe it from someone who has a do-it-yourself book!" Joe's mood was:

Chasing Zardoz holding a book titled "Vasectomy for Dummies" Joe has just arrived.

The crowd roared with delight. Zardoz eyed Joe warily and I noticed that he went to tremendous lengths to keep at least 10 meters away from Joe.

The couple then walked around the room appraising the various outfits chosen by their guests. And then conferred quietly together, ok, and kissed a few times too, but they were newlyweds, so that was understandable. After a moment, Sephorin announced that her husband had chosen this contest's winner. Zardoz stood and said, "This was a difficult decision.... My wife looked for color, and style.... I looked for cheap laughs." At this statement, several of the ladies burst into tears because they realized all their work devoted to projecting their style and beauty were for naught. True to his word Zardoz announced that Nkir had won the contest with the following attire:

Nkir sports an Armani tux, patent leather shoes, and a silk shirt. His electronically flashing orange and purple polka-dot bow tie dazzles the ladies.

The bridal couple then took the opportunity to have dance while the guests could mingle a bit before the last contest. I took the opportunity to explore a bit. Seated at the controls of the volcano was a curious little girl. A set of red wings kept her afloat. Her feet never touched the ground, and her skin was almost translucent so that I could see a number of red and blue veins pulsating gently underneath. The Devil didn't appear to be more than 12 or 13 Earth years old, but her features were set in a remarkably large grimace for someone so young. She glared about at the guests as though they were a pack of toddlers running around in the kitchen getting their hands into everything. I was trying to decide whether the girl was from the bride's side of the wedding party or the groom's when I heard an announcement regarding toasts.

My glass was quickly filled with champagne by one of the waitdroids and I moved closer to hear what the Groom had to say. Zardoz stood up and raised his glass, "For those of you who know me, you have heard me say that I play the game not for groats, but for friends, and that my wealth is measured in my friends, not my treasury." Zardoz glanced around the room at the assembled guests, then turned and looked at his bride. A broad smile crossed his face as he turned and re-addressed the guests, "Today, I am the richest man in Federation Space. I drink to you all, and thank you."

The crowd cheered, and Sephorin wiping away a tear went and hugged her husband. Then the toasts began. The glasses were filled and re-filled as guests offered toast after toast. Trilleth stood up and said, "Here's to hoping you are always as oblivious to each other's faults as you were to each other's affections. Congratulations... finally." (It was explained to me later that the only people that did not know that the Bride and Groom had fallen in love with each other were the Bride and Groom. And when Zardoz and Sephorin finally realized that they were in love and announced their engagement to their friends, they were greeted, without exception, by an exasperated, "FINALLY!")

The toasts were so good, that the Bride and Groom could not reach a decision (partly due to the fact that the Groom had been drinking to each of the toasts, and was now a bit tipsy). So they asked the guests for their selection. Lagkiller was chosen for his toast which was:

"To Zardoz, Zodraz, whatever the hell you call yourself these days....May you find in Seph in 10 years what you found in her today. To Seph, may you always retain the sparkle of today. To the both of you, always remember there is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."

The Groom transferred slithies to each of the winners. After the formal program concluded, the wedding party and guests continued the celebration into the wee hours of the morning. Guests and well wishers continued to visit and offer their best wishes to the happy couple. Towards the end of the evening, these two financiers were enjoying drinks and tales of business successes with their peers, when all of a sudden, the Bride sat up and looked at Zardoz, and said, "IPO sweetie." Instantly, all the guests began pulling out comm units and started punching commands into their portable comm links. Spynet began reporting a flurry of Financier activity. Within seconds cheers broke out among the guests, and the Bride and Groom high fived each other. Obviously, it is not a good idea to have an IPO right in the middle of a Financier party. I noted this down for future reference as I quietly made my exit from the party room.

On my way out, one of the Groom's servants handed me a slip of paper and asked that I include the message in the article I was going to write. I guess I was not able to hide my reporter's demeanor from the wedding party. I mentioned this to the servant, and he, after glancing at my Reporter's Notebook, and Press Card, said, "Yeah, something like that."

The note read, "Thank you all for attending, or acknowledging our wedding. Sephy said she wanted a big wedding, and I can deny her nothing. But I could not do it without your help. Your time, your wishes, your jokes, and your smiles made a happy day, a joyful one. Sephy was elated with her wedding, and I was pleased with her joy and touched by your wishes. Thank you for providing us with some fond memories. Thank you for your friendship. ZARDOZ"


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