Official News - page 8

REAL LIFE NEWS: DEFECTIVE TROUSERS EJECT PILOT FROM PLANE

by Hazed

If it was April 1, you would assume that this story was a joke, but since it's the end of April instead, we have to assume that it's really true. A Swedish pilot was hurled out of his aircraft by a pair of hi-tech trousers which malfunctioned.

It happened last week, to a Swedish air force officer flying a Saab Gripen fighter. Fighter pilots typically wear a "G-suit", which is also known as "speed jeans" - a pair of special inflatable trousers which are automatically pumped up as G-forces build up in high-energy manoeuvres. Without them, the G-force would make the pilot's blood drain down into his legs, which would result in blackouts or tunnel vision - the trousers squeeze the legs which stops that from happening.

However, in this case the speed jeans malfunctioned, and somehow triggered the poor pilot's ejection seat. He was flung violently out of the jet. Now pilot-less, the plane plunged to total destruction in a remote region, but the pilot parachuted to safety. Investigators from the Swedish forces concluded that the deadly trousers were "very likely" to blame.

"When subjected to large forces the suit fills with air. This is thought to have affected the ejector switch," said a spokesman. As a result, all the Gripen planes in which the special inflating trousers are used are now forbidden from exceeding 3G.

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