The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: April 15, 2007

Official News - page 5


REAL LIFE NEWS: NOT JUST UNARMED, BUT UNLEGGED

by Hazed

Oh lovely, another hilarious story about a stupid criminal, but this one is one of the most peculiar I've ever read.

It concerns 48-year-old Gregory Daniels who, together with an accomplice, drove up to Pomona Ranch Market in California, smashed a window and attached a chain from their pickup truck to an ATM. They ripped the cash machine off its mountains, dragged it out the window, loaded it onto the truck and drove off with their prize. So far, nothing unusual.

Police gave chase and cornered the vehicle in a dead-end street in a residential neighborhood. Daniels' friend ran off and escaped. Daniels, though, wasn't so lucky and was quickly apprehended for a very good reason, as Sergeant E Vazquez explained: "Daniels was on the ground near the vehicle in an attempt to flee from officers. However, he was unsuccessful, as his prosthetic leg fell off."

That's right, Daniels had an artificial leg, and it dropped off, preventing him from running away. How unfortunate! Just goes to show the dangers of committing crimes when you are legless. (Note for non-UK readers: legless is a euphemism for being drunk and incapable. Of course, having to explain the joke ruins it, not that it was a very funny one in the first place...)


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