The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: January 7, 2007

Official News - page 3

BUNGEE JUMP FOR JOY

by Hazed

The Galactic Administration HQ building hasn't seen such excitement since the day the children rioted because Santa failed to deliver their presents a few years back. There are usually only a few reasons to visit the building - newbods go there when they need their permits, and others head to the complaints booth, not realizing that nobody listens and nobody cares.

But now, thanks to G Shoddy and Offspring Ltd, there's a much more exciting reason to visit the GA building: bungee jumping. Goodness knows who they had to bribe in order to avoid all the usual health and safety restrictions, but members of the public can take the special lift up the top of the building - and then jump off.

Incidentally, nobody except those working for the government knew that the roof contained a rather pleasant garden, but now anybody can stop there for a drink and a snack before getting strapped into a harness and hurled off the side of the building. Employees are a little disgruntled that their roof-top paradise is no longer exclusive, but there's nothing they can do to keep out the hoi polloi.

And when this entertaining new service was opened to the public, we saw one of the rather unsavory side-effects of the modern technology of cloning and life insurance: jumpers were actively seeking death. Once word got around that there was a small chance that something could go wrong and that a jumper had actually died, thrill-seekers from all over the Galaxy rushed to Earth to have a go. Many of them took multiple jumps, hoping to go through the ultimate experience... death.

A crowd of spectators also gathered on the pavement outside the building, where they were able to watch as bungee jumpers plummeted down and were snatched back to safety by the elastic cord in the nick of time. Or not, as the case may be, because they too seemed to be breathlessly waiting for someone to splat onto the tarmac in front of them. How ghoulish!

About the only people to come out of this sorry episode with any credit are Mr Shoddy and his employees, who at least ensured that nobody could take a jump without being insured, resisting the temptation to take the 100 groats from whomsoever wanted to pay it.

Should you be inclined to experience the adrenaline rush and take the risk, you can reach the roof garden using the northern elevator from the GA HQ elevator lobby.

And if you're one of those who actively seeks death, and have as a result found your insurance premiums rising to unbearable limits, don't forget that there's a certain droid on Venus who, for a suitable bribe, will alter the records to reduce your premium rates. When you find him, 'BRIBE ZORK857' will knock 5 deaths off your record for the cost of one slithy tove.


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