The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: August 13, 2006

Fed Funnies

POSTS OF THE WEEK

Stardate: 115370:4709 - Occy: I feel sorry for people who don-t drink. When they wake up in the morning,that-s as good as they-re going to feel all day."--Lyndon B. Johnson
Stardate: 115371:2092 - Dupree: When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading - Henry Youngman
Stardate: 115372:8502 - Zand: It is easy to stop drinking. The hard part is not starting again.

Stardate: 115375:4707 - Art: Some people have issues. Others have subscriptions.
Stardate: 115375:6553 - Lynnea: I subscribe to all my issues.
Stardate: 115376:7191 - Gandolf: I have issues with my subscriptions.
Stardate: 115376:7481 - Zand: I don't subscribe to that line of thinking
Stardate: 115376:8351 - Gandolf: I think you have issues, Zand.

Stardate: 115407:2995 - Mentallyhayzed: When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." --Author Unknown

Stardate: 115429:9122 - Davros: And the Daleks will rise from the ashes and destroy you all.
Stardate: 115431:4527 - Buddy: You forgot to put "have a nice day" at the end of your post, Davros;)

Stardate: 115443:8995 - Paul: Any chance of someone inventing time travel anytime soon? I'd like to go back about 20 years and give myself some winning lottery numbers

Stardate: 115451:0144 - Zand: It's now official, machines are taking over. I bought new hardware today and upon installation, I was told that a new 'human interface device' had been located. What happened to Keyboard?

Stardate: 115472:9840 - Art: Computer illiteracy? You mean my computer's supposed to READ?
Stardate: 115474:2639 - Killer: Computer's need to READ! Oh no! I'd better start scanning magazines so it can READ.
Stardate: 115474:8344 - Zand: Killer, I would be afraid of what it is READing on the web!

Stardate: 115474:2838 - Buddy: ROM is a terrible thing to waste

Stardate: 115486:4319 - Djentsch: Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.- Margaret Thatcher

Stardate: 115489:4724 - Occy: There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves."--Will Rogers
Stardate: 115490:4663 - Zand: That means there are ones that belive everything they read, ones that belive everything they see, And the ones that are sure about things because they found out for themselves
Stardate: 115491:2939 - Gwarrior: Did you know that 78% of people will believe 99% of the facts given to them, as long as there is a statistic involved?
Stardate: 115493:7206 - Lynnea: Statistic show that 99% of men will pee on the electric fence 78% of the time.

Stardate: 115504:4105 - Lynnea: There aren't any messages on the board, yet.
Stardate: 115504:7264 - Paul: I miss admiring the workmanship of the bar boards.

Stardate: 115521:9354 - Gandroid: The Galactic Administration regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to the nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.


MOODS OF THE WEEK

No matter where you go, There you are!, and trying hard to figure where that is exactly... Salvador has just arrived.

You load fifteen tons and what do you get? Less than you would when Stee has left.


QUOTES OF THE WEEK

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Paul, "I just woke up, someone want me?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Oh, the temptation to make a rude remark here is almost over-whelming"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Fortunately, my demi-divinity allows me to resist"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Paul, "thank the demi-goddess for that!!"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stee, "grrr... I hate carrying packages to venus' mines"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "woot for Hobb's End"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Miners have needs too, you know. How would you like it if you had to work far underground like that? They love it when people send them parcels."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stee, "well, sure, people do"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gandroid, "I always wondered what they needed those ruby slippers for ..."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stee, "but why does the lone cleaning droid need a package?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "new marigolds?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Droids also have needs. Strange ones, admittedly, but they have them."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stee, "meh. Needs a key. Must want to unlock the door or something."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Freya, "Just ask Nightdroid about the needs droids have"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "not on comms, I'm sure"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "The less we hear about Nightdroid's needs the better, I think"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stee, "I'll second that, Hazed"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "x::mutters::x It took forever to get the lub oils out of the upholstery"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "LOL"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stee, "LOL"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gandroid, "sticking his fingers in his ears .. la la la la la"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stirling, "Anyone available to answer a question?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Freya, "There's ALWAYS someone available to answer questions in Fed"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "I live to answer questions. It is my delight."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stirling, "Lol - alrighty then"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Freya, "Whether you will get a useful or correct answer is a different issue"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Freya, "And whether you will get an answer you like is also another issue"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Shhh... don't disillusion him just yet"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Silverfox, "jumps up and down with his hand in the air:: oh! oh! Can I give a wrong answer today?? please!?!"


CLOTHES OF THE WEEK

> ex dork
Dork has sun-bleached, unkept hair and is wearing denim cutoffs, hemp sandals, and a white t-shirt emblazened with an arrow pointing towards his head and this message: 'This space for rent'.


DRINKS OF THE WEEK

Sillphin has bought you a mug of foaming Kraxon mulderberry wine. A tiny spiked umbrella tilts lazily in the suds. Bubbles rise from deep in the brew and pop like tiny sparklers as they break the surface. The fizz tickles your nose as you bring it to your lips.
Hazed sips her drink, trying not to poke herself in the eye with the umbrella.

Sillphin has bought you a goblet of flaming Kentucky moonshine. There are a few stringy bits (hair?) floating around the top, but you figure the inferno will likely singe them off before it's ready to drink. Be sure not burn your lips!
Hazed looks a bit doubtful about this drink, so carefully pours it into a plant pot when you aren't looking.
Hazed squawks as a pot plant suddenly goes up in flames!
Hazed sighs with relief as a waitdroid squirts the flaming plant with a soda siphon, putting out the conflagration before it can spread any further.
Sillphin hears a commotion and peers about with interest, only to spot a waitdroid cleaning up a spill. She assumes Hazed must have spilled her flaming Kentucky bourbon.
Sillphin says, "Clumsy waitdroid! I'm sure it must have a faulty servo or something. Let me buy you another one, Hazed."
Sillphin raises her hand to a passing waitdroid and orders up another round.
Sillphin has bought you a goblet of flaming Kentucky moonshine.
Hazed grimaces. "Thanks, that's very kind."
Sillphin says, "Oooo, I'm starting to feel kind of trippy. The smoke from that fire smells kinda familiar."
Hazed looks around, wondering where she can dump this drink. She notices the ice bucket on the bar, so pours the flaming drink into it. There is a hissss... as the ice melts.


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, send them to fi@ibgames.com.


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