ANATOMY OF A FED PARTY
by Asterix
When Hazed gave me this assignment, I quickly lined up an interview with Fancy. But when we finally sat down and I looked at the assignment sheet, I realized there was going to be trouble. I’m not writing the anatomy of FEDPARDY! So after a few drinks, and some discussions with my partner in crime, Lynnea, I sat down and wrote this piece a few hours before my deadline.
Lynnea and I have had a pretty rough week, and as such we weren’t able to throw a proper party very recently. I was quite distressed to learn, however, that in our absence, nobody else took it upon themselves to throw a bash of their own. This leads me to believe that you guys might need a few instructions as to how to go about doing this for yourself. After all, these intrepid reporters won’t ALWAYS be around to get you guys together for various different levels of drinking and partying. For those reasons, here are some suggestions to how to throw a great Fed-party.
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!
To start off, you have to be in a place where people can sit back, relax and really enjoy themselves. It has to be some place out of the way, so you don’t get in the way of Fedders who are just trying to do work, but it can’t be so far out of the way that people won’t make the effort to go there. Also, making sure the location is in fact a bar is a must; you don’t want to get everyone together and then find out that you can’t actually share any drinks!
A good starting place for any party is the Muddy Waters Lounge on Sumatra; it’s far enough out of the way that people won’t be depressing your party-goers with Akaturi jobs and asking for the location of the nearest Armstrong Cuthbert office.
One further suggestion about locations: stay out of the Lucky Seven Saloon when Nightdroid is around. He could get cranky and take down a whole bar.
> Chez Diesel (Social Center of the Solar System)
There is a patch of dirt, and some snapped off pipes and wires where the Chez Diesel bar used to be!
PLAN AHEAD
This one is sort of hit or miss, but it tends to help when you really want to throw a huge bash. You can’t just get a bunch of Fedders together randomly; we’re too capricious a bunch. No, if you want to do this right, you have to get people talking about it. Use the electronic noticeboard, throw some witty remarks out on the comms and tell the masses. Everyone loves a good party, and looks forward to a time at the end of the week when they can all relax. If you get the word out early enough, you could end up with more people at your party than even Lynnea and I get at ours!
Of course, some of the best parties are those that start up randomly. You don’t always have to plan for a week to get a few friends together. If you see that there are some interesting conversations on the comms, ask if everyone wants to congregate in a single room. That’s how Lynnea and I got started, and look where we are now! We’re the biggest party-hosts in Fed!
CAST OF CHARACTERS
While you should invite any and all Fedders to your party, try to make sure you get a few characters together, too. Get some people who will add a certain life to your party. There are of course the heavyweights, myself and Lynnea, but like I said: we might not always be available to provide you with the galaxy’s best parties. Hang out on the comms for a while and see who the center of conversation normally is. Then it’s just a quick Tight Beam message to try and find out when or if they’re available, and presto! You’ll have a cast of characters ready to bring the house down at your party.
GOOD FRIENDS, GOOD TIMES
Most importantly of all, just make sure you surround yourself with people you like and the fun will happen without much more work on your part. If you have around you a group of people you respect, admire and like to drink with, you’ll have more fun than you can write about. That is unless it’s your job to write about it; in which case you might also want to invite someone who’s willing to take notes from time to time. For that, I’d like to thank my intrepid reporting partner, Lynnea, for always being there to remind me what I’ve blacked out of my memory after a long night of drinking.
So get out there Fedders! Show us what you’ve got, and maybe the next Fed Party written about in the Fed2 Star will be yours! Look for Lynnea and me as we inhabit random bars all around Fed DataSpace. It won’t be too hard at all to convince us to come out to your party. After all, it’s our job.
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