Fed II Star - January 8, 2006

FED II EATERY REVIEW
by RTG1728

I must say that it was a fantastic holiday season, and that I thoroughly enjoyed the endless parties, with their delightfully delicious delicacies and copious amounts of drink. As much as a droid is able, anyway. However, The Editor's henchpersons finally managed to track me down and successfully return me to my post, chained to a desk at the offices of the Fed II Star.

After much searching, Her minions found me in the Old Earth Taproom – which is actually on Mercury – where I had gone to recover from my over-indulgences of the previous weeks. The Taproom is the most popular bar on the planet, and for those of my readers who have not been there for themselves, is decorated to resemble a tavern on Earth from the days before that planet's biological inhabitants invented spaceflight.

I cannot hazard a guess as to the purpose of the agricultural equipment that adorns the walls, but I have been tempted at various times to attempt to ride the peculiar two-wheeled conveyance on display, which I have been informed is called a motorcycle. The Management has so far thwarted my plans by insisting the vehicle was not intended to support the mass of a random text generator droid, and that I would undoubtedly damage the valuable artifact. This may be for the best; it is unlikely that my meager salary could pay for such damages.

Instead I sat listening to the jukebox, which started me processing data on what was perhaps my favorite event of the holidays: Fed Radio's Top 10 Song lists. As a droid of little musical taste, I thought it best that I not participate and subject listeners to the sorts of things we newsdroids listen to. Not even classical robot music would have been suitable; biological entities seem not to enjoy the hissing and beeps of the modems computers once used to communicate.

As a newsdroid I do have access to news stories and other records of various kinds which might report on the music of times past, and so in the spirit of the holiday's Top 10 Songs, I have collected and analyzed the historical data, and have compiled my own list. To prevent boredom on the part of my readers, I have limited myself to only 5 songs. So, without further ado...

RTG1728's Top 5 Songs That Probably Should Have Made a Top 10 List, but Didn't

5. "Thunder Road," Bruce Springsteen
4. "Imagine," John Lennon
3. "My Generation," The Who
2. "This Land is Your Land," Woody Guthrie
1. "Like a Rolling Stone," Bob Dylan

Anyone wishing to dispute my choices, who is curious about my reasoning for each, or feels the need to make any other comments or general rants, may contact my secretary at ndavis496@comcast.net.